The sun has barely emerged beyond the distant mountains of Talamarang, the soft morning light falling evenly across the valley, river and mountainside. The black of night will always surrender to the light of a new day, their eternal dance a reflection of our own duality. Today I will be meeting an incredible woman that has lived through astounding hardship, as I remember that even the darkest of nights, must give way to dawn.

Her name is Lila Kumari Deuja. She has lived in Talamarang her whole life, raising six daughters in a small stone and mud home at the foot of the mountain. Her former husband was deeply involved with the community as a member of the VDC committee, as well as teaching full time at Talamarang secondary school. His passing was deeply felt by the entire community, but the greatest loss of course was felt by the woman that loved him and the children that their love brought forth into this world. After his passing, it fell upon Lila to support six daughters by herself until her eldest three daughters were able to move into the city. The cultural norm in Nepal is for women to marry into families that are financially supported by the man of the home. This tradition unfortunately further isolates women in Nepal without a husband or sons.

On the 25th of April, the world was stunned with the news of Nepal’s devastating earthquake. Lila’s 20-year-old daughter was among the victims, her body found buried beneath the rubble of their family home. Lila now lives with her two youngest daughters in a simple tin shack originally used to store harvest and house buffalo. The shack rests against a steep hill beneath a landslide prone area. Whenever there is rain, Lila is unable to sleep for fear of landslides, wondering whether she will be buried alive with her daughters. How would one begin to properly grieve and process the death of a child while still fearing for the lives of your remaining children?

As my partner and I approach the tangled heap of stone, timber and mud that remains of Lila’s home, the weight of her story seems to sink a little deeper, and yet the extent of her loss must still be abstract in my mind. As we ascend the dirt hill beside the ruins, Lila emerges from the back of the property supporting a huge pile of grass on her back with the traditional Nepali head strap, greeting us with the warmest of smiles. I feel immediately at ease in her presence as she sings “Namaste, Namaste”, bowing with her hands rose up in prayer. She is truly beautiful. Her eyes are clouded with the pain of loss and yet they still shine, exuding strength and love. After several introductions, our friend and translator continue speaking with Lila as we sit for tea. Although I can’t understand the conversation, I’m still able to get a strong sense of Lila’s character. She has not stopped smiling since we arrived and her melodious voice; infectious laughter and expressive gestures only draw me in further.

When conversation turns to the earthquake, Lila’s face changes ever so slightly, as she gets up to find a picture of her daughter. Her eyes are glazed with tears but not a single tear falls as she shows us a picture of her deceased daughter. She tells us how easy it would have been for her to marry into a good family. Her daughter was very beautiful. Instead, she was working and studying in Kathmandu with the goal of working overseas. The pride and love for her daughter rings clear in her voice as she points to the ruins where she was found and then touches her heart. Her eyes are filled with tears but she musters the strength to hold them back while in our presence. Lila then disappears into the tin shack carrying some dishes. My partner follows her assuming to help Lila with some washing and finds her holding the photo, tears falling freely. They both cried together for a time but Lila’s smile never left. The tears were truly accepted, each and every one. She has truly mastered faith through surrender, but I’m sure if you asked her, she would say that there wasn’t a choice. Before we depart, our friend translates our intention to raise funds for a new home. Lila says that would be great, but not to worry if we can’t find the money, because that’s fine too. Home or no home. I can’t help but smile with all my being.

We have met with Lila many times since our first encounter while demolishing and clearing the remains of her home. She greets us every single morning with laughter and dance, twisting and skipping in Nepali style with hands spiralling high in the air like rising serpents. Lila cooks the best dahl baht I have ever eaten, which was especially delicious during the festival of Dashain when goat was added. Our plates are always overflowing with food and the forced seconds often send everyone over the edge, grasping at their pants to release a button. Lila’s strength and wisdom throughout such overwhelming tragedy is an inspiration to all who come into contact with her, and yet no one ever leaves her company melancholy. Lila’s spirit is an inspiration to all that ask the question of whether peace can be chosen amidst the chaos.

Talamarang VDC committee have nominated Lila to receive the first recommendation for funding allocated for the rebuilding of homes in Talamarang. Good Earth Nepal have already completed technical drawings and costing’s for the proposed project, creating a hybrid design consisting of half Earthbags and half bamboo. This hybrid design was created in response to the challenges of building a heavyweight structure on predominantly landfill with limited site boundaries. The proposed project will not only provide a safe home for Lila and her daughters, but also provide local Nepali with accredited training for a building method that is cost effective, earthquake resistant and applicable at a DIY capacity. This will directly impact the reconstruction and sustainability of the community.

Lila and her daughters deserve a safe home and above all, they deserve to feel safe. The proposed project will cost $10K USD, taking under 2 months to build. The true worth of this home is beyond measure. For Lila and her family, it will mean a fresh start. They have seen tragedy yet cannot truly begin to heal while still in danger, sleeping with only a sheet of tin between themselves and potential landslides. Safe shelter is the foundation of ‘Maslow’s hierarchy of needs’, before food and water. Your generosity and support could provide Lila Kumari Deuja and her daughters with the most basic human need, while also removing them from the danger of potential landslides.

Lila’s spirit will always remain with me when I encounter my own personal challenges, however trivial in comparison they may be. To give others only joy in the midst of personal tragedy and hardship is the true meaning of selflessness. May a new day dawn for Lila and her daughters, returning the light that she gives so freely to all.